Imagine the life you built, who you believe yourself to be, the way you see the world around you and the way you navigate this world is a house of cards.
Beautiful and intricate in a way. But fragile, unstable and fickle.
Imagine a storm rolls in and a powerful gust of wind blows over your house of cards. The whole structure flattened and scattered into the winds, getting soaked by the rain.
And as you contemplate the destruction of this house of cards and along with it your perception of who you thought you were and how you’re supposed to navigate the world around you, you realise you’re going to have to rebuild.
As you ponder this you realise you weren’t the one who built this house of cards in the first place. It’s not a structure of your own making. The house was built by your environment, your family, friends, society and the way they see you and expect you to behave and meet their needs.
And as you realise this your heart breathes a sigh of relief knowing that the house you will build for yourself with your heart as the architect will be that much more beautiful, stronger and more resilient.
You realise this is your opportunity to build the most beautiful home you can envision, a place that feels like a sanctuary for your soul to take residence in for the long haul. A place where you truly feel seen and heard and accepted just the way you are. Without the need to squeeze yourself into rooms that are too small, windowless or draughty.
Part of you is grieving the loss of that draughty old fragile home. Not because it was perfect. But because it was familiar and it’s all you knew. And that’s okay. Feel your grief. Give thanks for the shelter and the lessons. Then say goodbye and turn your gaze towards the home you’re going to build for yourself.
This is where I’m at right now. Under construction. I’ve given the grief and the confusion the space, acknowledgement and love they needed and I’m now ready to rebuild.
Thank you so much Jayden Leigh for coaching me through this and helping me ready myself for the rebuilding. Always grateful for your compassionate guidance and wisdom.
– Sarah Schmiedler